Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
