My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
