i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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