Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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