In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
