Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this will be a night to untag.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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