"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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