Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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