Whod you bang
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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