conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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