so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
