i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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