it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
