so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize