I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
