I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
