i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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