THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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