omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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