She is in my trunk
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
