the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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