would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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