Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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