but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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