some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
