It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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