He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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