Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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