before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
