I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
