I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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