i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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