I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Help. Why am I so naked?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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