I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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