If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
