"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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