He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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