All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
