We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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