and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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