I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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