When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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