Sponge bath it is.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
