Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
