Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize