At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
