AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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