I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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