Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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