the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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