69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
