well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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