And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
