I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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