2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
