there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
