I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
