I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
