is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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