I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
